And with this post I have finally arrived at the blog post I actually wanted to write today. Thanks, scatter brained, uh… brain.
For being a simple four letter word, it sure holds a lot of weight. Not as much weight as people who eat a lot of it, though, but still. Haha, I’ve got jokes…
There’s entire sections in newspapers and websites dedicated to it. TV shows. Youtube channels. There’s even entire stores and places where they make food where people go to have fun.
I don’t get it.
There are a lot of things that I struggle to understand in a neurotypical world. But no concept plays a “bigger” role than “food”. It’s such a basic concept. You need to eat if you want to survive, whether you want it or not. And yet, people managed to build an entire culture around putting things in your mouth so that you can live another day.
I’m not a big fan of food. I eat because I have to. I skip breakfast because I am not a morning person, and eating in the morning sounds like a horrible activity in which only the clinically insane can partake in willingly.
Maybe I’m overreacting. I’m probably overreacting.
I just don’t like “food” as a concept. Part of my Aspergers manifests itself in a crappy diet. I am extremely sensitive to textures and will only eat “what I know” and “what I like”. There is no fooling this brain of mine. I have shocked
scientists people I know by telling them “Yo, this hamburger is from a different store, I can just tell.”
And they’re all “What? No way, it’s from the same store. Totally. Okay, it’s not, but can’t you just enjoy it?”
I can’t, because my brain hates all food it doesn’t know. There is a lot of food it doesn’t know or like.
On it’s own that is already frustrating. When you start to think about it for too long I could get upset about the fact that I always eat the same food. Sometimes I tell myself that it would be nice to eat a pizza for a change, or a spaghetti. And when I think about how that food probably feels like, that idea is gone. Eating slippery, wet food? What are you thinking man, that is extremely disgusting!
I am fine with my limited diet. Or so I tell myself. It’s not a problem if I don’t have to leave the house.
Except, I live in a world where I need to leave the house to do fun things. Or less than fun things. There are events in this world, which I would gladly participate in (as long as I can spectate from a corner of the room), but most of the time they are ruined with food.
Course on a topic I’m interested in? Do worry, they are taking care of lunch. Going out with a group of people? Big problem, they’ll just eat something there and there’ll be a minority vote and guess what? You don’t eat anything in any restaurant ever so you are screwed!
Tomorrow I will be heading to another one of those events. It is a dinner plus movie thing. No, not a date. Don’t slip in the rabbit hole of thinking about how food ruins your chances at dating or finding a woman. Don’t do it, S. Focus!
So, anyway, I am perfectly fine with going to the movies. I quite enjoy it, despite the “light and sound show” that is a problem to some of my fellow Aspies. I even enjoy the loud sounds. They send chills down my spine. Whenever I hear the Star Wars theme, I feel this sense of bliss. Of “This is going to be awesoooooooooooooome.”
It’s the food part that bothers me, of course. The dinner aspect of it all. Being expected to show up and pick something to eat. While having the idea that people are observing you. Of course you could just show up without eating anything. And then you would have to lie about the “why”. Or you will have to tell people about why I only like to eat the french fries.
Either way, social situations become a hell on earth when food is involved. So because of that I am nervous about what was going to be a fun event tomorrow.
Wish me lots of luck and a place in a corner of the restaurant where nobody realizes that I am only having fries and a cola, friends.